Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My bed smells like the plague
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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