My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
