Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
