So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
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You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
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Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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