My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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