Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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