Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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