I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
