i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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