everyone is single if you try hard enough
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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