What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
