why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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