I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
