I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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