i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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