Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
