i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
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Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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