This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
