When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize