I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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