I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
