Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
