after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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