it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
soo... how was my night?
Randomize