Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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