Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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