That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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