Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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