after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
