I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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