It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
