Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
