OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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