I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Shame - the story of my life.
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