the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
she smelled like a LAN party
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
