are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
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The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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