I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
