I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
