hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH