we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I am never drinking with the goths again.