Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?