Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
