everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel