HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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