Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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