If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
