Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
