I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
