PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
