I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
