I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
