So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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