get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
