oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
