I feel great
I just peed on a car
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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