Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize