google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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