She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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