Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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