Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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