its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I understand Curling. That high.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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